“I don’t matter here, either. If I dropped out of life just like I dropped out of school, everyone’s lives would go on. With or without Merit.” 

Hello Everyone,

First, I must caution, this review may contain spoilers; I’ll try not to give too much away.

This book touches on a very sensitive subject. It is something that is prevalent around the world. Although this hasn’t affected me close to home, it hit me on a personal level because it happened to someone I care about and admire.

I have never read anything from Colleen Hoover. I found this book accidentally while looking for another book, that I never managed to find (especially because I don’t remember the author or title). Without Merit was not the read I was expecting. I was expecting the usual teenage angst love story and ended up with so much more.

The Voss family isn’t normal. They are the talk of the town, from first moving into a revamped church called Dollar Voss, to having the previous Mrs. Voss-once cancer stricken-residing in the basement of Dollar Voss…with the current Mrs. Voss, also in residence…who happens to have been the first Mrs. Voss’ nurse.

Then we have Merit Voss, a 17 year old, who collects trophy’s while keeping her family’s secrets. When she meets Sagan, she thought she found someone who renews the spark that is missing in her life. Unfortunately, he turns out to be completely unavailable. That sends her spiraling further into an abyss she is unaware of; as a result, her family pays the price as the secrets she has held onto for so long come spilling to the surface.

Without Merit lightly touches on the type of depression, where the one suffering isn’t aware that they are depressed; mental illness and the impact of a family dealing with lies that threatens to tear them apart, before the truth heals them. It also addresses the attempted suicide of a person who doesn’t realize they are crying out for help, let alone acknowledge that the attempt was made.

“F*ck this stupid list…have a headache? You must have a brain tumor! Have chest pain? You’re having a heart attack! Trouble sleeping? You’re depressed.

Depression and suicide is a very powerful yet sensitive subject for me. Although I didn’t know them personally, as I stated earlier, I care about and admire a person who recently committed suicide. I am a huge k-pop (Korean pop) fan. One of the members from the first group I discovered, suffered from depression for years. His name is Kim Jong-hyun. He was known as Jonghyun, lead singer of the group SHINee. I admired his talent, and I respected him as an artist. He killed himself after attempting to receive treatment for his depression. He was in so much pain and unfortunately, the therapist he was seeing was unable to help him cope. This had an impact on me because I am a mother and Jonghyun was the same age as my oldest son when he decided to end his life. Although I have never, to my knowledge, suffered from depression, I have a daughter who was suicidal from being bullied. I am blessed that I was able to get her help that taught her to cope. I feel for Jonghyun’s mother who wasn’t as fortunate. So, to then read Without Merit really touched me. Reading how the family managed to heal in the wake of a suicide attempt and the reason behind it, made me appreciate the issues families may have to overcome and this book that addresses them.

“…maybe that’s the root of a lot of family issues. It isn’t actually the issues people are hung up about for so long. It’s that no one has the courage to take the fist step in talking about the issues.”

Colleen Hoover handles this topic with sensitivity and also humor. She doesn’t write about the issues darkly. She doesn’t minimalize them or give them a quick fix. She writes a comprehensive theme on perspective and forgiveness. Ms Hoover writes about a topic all families should discuss, especially if you have teens. And she gives her characters substance. I didn’t feel like I was just reading a good novel, I felt as if I was part of the family trying to work through the pain and find common ground. I related to each character, from parent to child, blood related or not, which allowed me to read without judgment, but with empathy.

Without Merit is one of my top reads of 2018 and I wholeheartedly recommend it. I am now a fan.

If you suffer from depression or would like information, please visit The Anxiety and Depression Association of America at https://www.adaa.org/ as found at the end of the book. If you or anyone you know are contemplating suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Remember, you are not alone!

Happy Reading,

The Book Diva

R.I.P Kim Jong-hyun April 8, 1990 – December 18, 2017